Special Education Law Blog

T’was the Night Before Christmas Break by Lori Miller Fox

T’was the night before Christmas break, when all through my head,
I knew nothing was scheduled, but worry, and dread;
The boredom was lurking around the corner with fear,
The anxiety of knowing vacation was near;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
After putting on their orthotics, and getting their meds;
And me with my ice cream and dad with his beer,
Were worried, so worried that vacation was near.

Boo! Hoo! [Halloween for Kids With Special Needs] by Lori Miller Fox

Every year as Halloween approaches, I battle mixed feelings. For my “typically developing” daughter, it’s a day second only to her birthday. It’s a day when she can be a princess both inside and out, gather all the candy she and her dad can carry, and eat until she can’t fit one more Skittle or piece of Reese's into her tiny mouth.  For me, it’s a day when I too want to fit every piece of Reese's into my mouth but only to swallow the pain. 

Halloween, has always been a symbol of childhood. It’s a day when children can be children and live out their costume and candy fantasies. But for kids with special needs and their families, it can be a day of segregation, isolation and frustration.

Since many children with special needs can’t or have to limit their intake of candy, my son’s only enjoyment on Halloween was ringing the doorbells--a task, which in a wheelchair, was made very difficult by steps and stoops and shrubs and stares. So many unfamiliar “neighbors” tried to relieve their shock and saddness by dumping  handfuls of candy my son would never eat into a bag that he couldn’t hold. But then again, more for the grieving parents.

Now that my son is 14, I thankfully no longer have to worry about what kind of costume goes with a wheelchair, and I can avoid the painful “elementary school parade” for which upright posture was the only thing to be grateful.  And I can mindlessly answer the door and force a smile on my face as I pass out the Hershey bars.

Today as I look back on my Annual Autumn anxiety, I realize that as parents of children with special needs, we’re often the ones having to wear the costumes. And not only on Halloween, but every day.  From the smiles we paint on our faces to the stiff upper lips we rubber cement onto our chins.  As our children grow, we become the people they need us to be, to enable them to be who they are. 

Four Star Accommodations by Lori Miller Fox

I believe parents and children should always reach for the stars. It just depends on how you access the solar system. I hate when a teacher or school administrator says, “do you want us to spoon feed the information?" Or “would you want me to give your child a grade he didn’t deserve?” No, I just want my child to have a fair shot. That’s why children are allowed accommodations and modifications. They are designed to make success accessible. Everyone could use accommodations now and then, not just children with special needs.  Here are just a few examples:

School Supply Lists For Kids With Special Needs Can Be Full of Sheets by Lori Miller Fox

It’s that time of year again.  Back to school. When parents all over the country, list in hand, ambush the stores in search of the perfect school supplies. Red, plastic, 8x12 pronged folder with pockets, green wide-ruled five-subject spiral notebook.  Every subject has a specific pencil, every class a unique pen. But somehow those itemized  lists never seem to apply to my son. Just seeing the word “Elmers” used to get me unglued, the word “ball point” would start me balling, and the word “scissors” would cut me to my very  core. The only thing that seemed remotely useful was the mandatory box of Kleenex tissues to wipe away the tears, so I always bought an extra for my own supply closet.

After years of suffering in silence, I’ve put together my own, more functional list for kids with special needs, their families and the staff who “just don’t get them”.

Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer School by Lori Miller Fox

School is over for most of us, and summer school’s already begun for some.  As parents we often fight for extended school year even though the regular school year experience has failed miserably. So why do we delude ourselves into expecting that even if the school year has gone poorly that summer school will somehow miraculously cure it all.  It reminds me of how Woody Allen once described life.  He said it was like two older ladies sitting in a restaurant.  One says “the food here is terrible."  The other replies, “and such small portions.”   

Special Needs Moms Deserve a Special Day by Lori Miller Fox

A husband came to his wife, the mother of their child who had special needs and asked, what do you want for Mother’s Day?
A diamond necklace, he offered generously?
No room for that, she said, I already have the school albatross hanging around my neck.
A new watch, he suggested eagerly?
No. Then I’ll have to see how late I really am, she answered.
Swiss chocolates, a two pound box, he thought?
I’m still trying to take off the five pounds I gained from the stress of the last IEP meeting, she cried.
A beautiful potted plant, the rarest of the rare, he suggested?
And give me one more thing to take care of, she hollered!
A dream house, he proposed proudly?
Only if it’s in a better school district, she replied.
A negligee, he said sheepishly?
She just laughed.
A quiet evening alone, he whispered.
She laughed harder.
What, he asked desperately, can I give you for Mother’s Day that will make you happy? Roses, he said sweetly?
No, she replied sadly.
The time to stop and smell them.

Wishing you a very happy Mother’s Day.

What All the Best Advocates are Wearing by Lori Miller Fox

It’s IEP season, and rage is all the rage.

Un"Happy Days" by Lori Miller Fox

Oh how things have changed and thank goodness for it. Today at least mothers have rights and a voice. Sometimes I imagine what it would have been like to have had a child with special needs in the 1950s. Here are some of the things a mother of a child with special needs might have said at that time:

Words to Laugh By-- Lori Miller Fox

Some kids with special needs learn best with short simple declarative sentences. Having a sense of humor doesn’t hurt either.  I was thinking that maybe short funny declarative statements would also be the best way to communicate with those school personnel and others who “just don’t get it”. So here are just a few statements that I’d like to share with some people I’ve met.  Maybe you’d like to share some yourself. Please feel free to shout them from the rooftops, post them on signs, wear them on t-shirts, stick them on bumpers, or tatoo them wherever you choose.   

The Inclusive Class Grows All Around by Lori Miller Fox

Inclusion is more than an accessible desk or a name heard in role call.  It’s more than  a law, it’s more than the right thing, and when it’s done well, it can be beautiful.