A Metaphor for Our Lives

I recently came across a story of a father, Dick Hoyt, who competes in marathons and Ironman competitions with his now adult son, Rick Hoyt, who is disabled. Besides being incredibly moving and motivating, it forms a metaphor for our lives as parents with children with special needs.

• In the Ironman swim he pulls his son along in a raft. At times we all have felt that we are pulling and at times pushing uphill and against the current to achieve our goals for our children. This man and his son do that in real tangible ways and achieve their goals.
• In every aspect of the races and competitions his son is always an integral part of his efforts, and they achieve success or experience failure together.  Parents of children with special needs experience in very real and excruciating ways the successes and failures of their child. I know some will say that is true for all parents, but the successes are so much more hard won for our children with disabilities and the failures so much more disheartening.
• The deep-seated sense I get from this story is of a father who wants to experience profound moments together with his son without regard to the fact of his disability.  That desire is something that I face and think about all the time. At times I have a struggled fruitlessly to move my son's chair to a dinosaur dig site in Colorado to only get bogged down in the rocks and soil. I was glad that I tried even though my wife was anxiously waiting for me not to fall. Other times I have carried my son, when he was smaller and lighter, up to Native American wall paintings in New Mexico.  These and so many other things are important to experience together between parent and child despite the challenges.
• Apparently the father began running at the prompting of his son. The son drove the father to run, just as the father literally drives the son.  In my own life, my son and the fact of his disability has been a life-altering experience. As much as I advocate for him and his future, his strength and determination drive me to go on and help others. The mutuality between this father and son pair is something that many of us can relate to and draw strength from.

Comments

[Sandy Alperstein]

Beautifully put, Charlie!

[Amy Cederbaum]

Every time you write an Authentic Voices post you scour deeper holes it seems in the readers' hearts where there's room to feel more and hold more.