Catching a Branch...

I believe in the power of courageously sticking with a positive vision for  children with disabilities. The challenges and obstacles to this vision are enormous but not insurmountable.  Sometimes the only thing we have to sustain our vision, as parents and advocates, is what I call “catch a branch.”  This phrase refers to my stubborn faith in a future of positive outcomes despite events which cascade in such a way that the future feels in state of free fall.  Despite this free fall, I force myself to stubbornly maintain faith that even though I have fallen off a cliff [or have been pushed], I will “catch a branch” before I hit the ground and will regain my way.  However, to put this belief in its proper perspective there is a lot of angst, chocolate eating and tirades both public and private which occur before I come to the calmer understanding that I will not go splat and will catch a branch. No, I am not a  saint and not a polyanna.

This blog which I started one year ago has given me a forum to share my values, beliefs and insights as an attorney, father and husband engaged in hand to hand combat with schools, while staying one step ahead of the curves that disabilities always seem to have waiting around the next corner. I feel blessed that the postings have struck a cord with many of you; now one year later there have been  more than 70,000 page views !

We need fuel, however, to go forward to maintain our vision for positive outcomes for our children.  Where does that fuel come from ? For me the fuel comes from the following:

• Having a deep and abiding love for my son that he needs and deserves the best possible  ['appropriate'] outcome that I can provide and fight for in school and in the community;

• Keeping an unshakable faith in the path that I am on will benefit my son, and the children that I represent. “Oh well” is just not in my vocabulary;

• Maintaining a  sense of humor [which my wife and daughter help with a lot]. There is no room for bitterness or pity. These emotions are the opposite of fuel;

• Preserving family, maintaining friendships with positive people, and caring for basic needs both spiritual and physical;

• Embracing joy and happiness whenever possible, and counting our blessings;

• Taking stock in the reality of living in this country versus other nations when it comes to the protections for the disabled. For all of the flaws in IDEA, the current political environment and the composition of the courts, our children would not fare very well in other systems;

• Finally and not least is the reward of raising a child with special needs and making a difference in the life of my clients. Recently, when my son was presented with a data sheet as to what his parents do for a living, he answered: “my father’s job is to advocate for his son.”  My wife insists that I am his hero; what greater reward could I ever ask for and motivation to go forward.

I hope that the postings on this blog have served as fuel to go forward to achieve great things for your child, client or yourself. I look forward to the future, and exploring and sharing insights and guidance through this blog. Thank you for your readership and support, it certainly has fueled me to go forward !

Comments

[Sandy Alperstein]

Thank YOU, Charlie, for your informative, creative and often funny blog! Your work helps fuel many of us in our daily struggles!

[Amy Cederbaum]

What I love about your blog - what you and Lori both write - is that you restore a sense that dealing with all these issues doesn't interfere as much with life as put one in touch with the deepest parts of being alive- even while one feels how terribly difficult it can be to have to surmount over and over so many obstacles. You give so much with these postings you can't imagine.

[Daunna Minnich]

Ditto!

[Michael Fox]

Your words come from the heart. I know exactly how Cole feels about you. You inspired me and I have looked to your cues my whole life.
Keep this going.
...Your little brother from NJ!!!!!

[Charles Fox]

What could be better than hearing from your brother that you are an inspiration.