As some of you might remember, I have always found Halloween to be a particularly difficult holiday. Whether it’s having neurotypical kids ring my bell, or just seeing groups of neurotypical peers in the distance, it’s enough to make me cry or padlock my door. Either way I’m left to deal with it the best I can; with humor to distract me, or eating candy to numb the pain. Hope this funsize bit of humor does the trick for you.
parents of special needs children might say when a trick or treater comes to
Things parents of special needs children might say when a trick or treater comes to their door.
My goal is to successfully give out candy 3 out of 5 times; ring again.
Any dietary restrictions?
Hey you, behind the mask, aren’t you the one who made fun of my kid?
If you don’t like Tootsie Rolls, try eating a gluten-free cookie.
You don’t scare me, I’ve been to seven IEP meetings and I’m still standing.
Sorry you don’t like it, but it was one of the few candies that wasn’t made in a facility that processes peanuts.
How come you don’t ring my bell for a playdate?
No I don’t have anything with chocolate, anything with caffeine I keep for myself.
You don’t like organic carrots? Then you’ll have to go next door where they don’t have a child on a gluten-free, caesin-free, dairy-free, peanut-free, high fructose corn syrup-free, artificial preservative-free...hey, come back here, I’m talking to you!
We’ve been told inclusion isn’t for everybody, so we only give treats to children with special needs.
Really, it is an Almond Joy, we’re just so used to pureeing everything first.
How dare you bring that weapon to my door. I’m going to have to confiscate that magic wand of yours, and your fairy dust too, and your bag of candy while I’m at it. And give me your cell phone, just for the heck of it. You’ll be lucky if this doesn’t result in an expulsion.
Aren’t you the kids whose parents believe ADD is strictly behaviorally based? Take more candy, and make sure to eat it all right before bedtime.
Things parents of special needs children might say when their child rings someone else’s doorbell.
Is there gluten in that?
I don’t care if it’s not in his Behavior Modification Plan, he rings the bell and you give candy.
The candy bag is on the right, the one on the left holds the Diastat.
Too bad if you’ve never seen her in school, she does live in this neighborhood, now turn over the candy.
No it’s not part of my costume, I always look this tired.
It’s in her IEP, as long as she says “trick or treat,” you give her candy.
No the wheelchair isn’t part of the costume.
So what, if your kid was here first; it’s the only time my kid can ring the bell without somebody calling the police.
It’s a win-win. She gets to ring all the doorbells she wants, and I get to eat anything she could choke on.
We don’t want your pity; we want your candy. Now turn over the good stuff.
A turtle? No, that’s just his spinal brace.
So what you’re saying is, if he can’t verbally say “trick or treat,” you won’t give him candy?
No need to call the authorities, the sword is just part of his pirate costume. Surprised the eye patch and parrot didn’t give it away.
Things parents of special needs children might think.
It’s like giving a goody bag to all the kids who didn’t invite your kid to their birthday parties.
The only good thing about Halloween is that when it’s all over you can bury your sadness in chocolate.
G-d may not give you more than you can handle, except on pagan holidays.